It honestly still fazes me that summer has already come to an end. When you think four months is a long time, it really isn’t and I miss it already. This past summer has been a concoction of emotions for me. I experienced some of the highest of highs, but also the lowest of lows. There were many moments where I felt so happy and grateful to be surrounded by many individuals that truly love and appreciate me, but there were also moments where I felt so stressed and doubtful of my own future. Nonetheless, it was a summer to remember.
My summer 2018 started off with a bang! My cousins from Macau came to visit us in May and it was the first time I’d seen them since six years ago. Spending time with them reinforced the irreplaceable bond that I have with family. I mean after not seeing someone for so many years, you’d think that there would be some kind of awkwardness in the air, but there was absolutely none for us. It felt so incredible being able to show them the home where I grew up in and seeing the amazement in their eyes over things that I’ve been desensitized to. But let me tell you, my cousin was amazed at the trees, squirrels, flowers, and random little things in the city. I guess squirrels are kind of cute, but I see them everyday. Meanwhile, my cousins are like “WAHHH, its a squirrel!” *snaps a billion photos of the SAME squirrel* “WAHHH, this tree is so pretty!” *snaps another billion photos of the SAME tree* “WAHHH, everything is so pretty!” This really put into perspective how lucky I am to be able to live in such a beautiful and resourceful environment and has really grounded me to appreciate every little thing in life. The weeks that they were here were probably some of the best and most heartwarming moments of my summer.
I think I forgot to mention that the reason why they came to visit was because another cousin of ours was getting married. Now, this was a crazy emotional part of my summer. A little backstory of my cousin’s love story, my cousin, being Chinese, was engaged to an Italian man. Before I even unravel the story, I think many of you can already guess where this is going. Growing up with strict Asian parents, dating someone outside of the culture was absolutely forbidden. So when my cousin came out with the news that she was dating someone non-Chinese, her parents flipped tables. Sadly, I can really relate to the pain and emotional hardships that my cousin went through for her relationship. I too went through and am going through the same battle with my parents for being in a relationship with someone who is outside my culture. To know the struggles and hardships that she went through with her parents and to see the two finally be able to tie the knot, I’m nothing but happy for them. In a sense, it’s sort of comforting knowing that they went through what my boyfriend and I are going through, but were able to have a happy ending. I don’t want to go into too much detail about my side of the story in this post, but let me know if you guys would like me to talk about this in another post.
June rolled around and so did Spotlight. I joined an eight-month dance program last fall and at the end of the year, we had a huge production to showcase our growth over the course of the program. I honestly love dancing and performing, but sometimes I feel so deterred to train because of how late I started. Going into open classes and seeing kids half my age doing what I’m doing, if not even better, made me feel so crappy about myself. I love dancing so much, but I truly feel like I would never be able to get to the level that I want to be at. I’m far from good and definitely far from being able to proudly call myself a dancer. Sometimes I even feel ashamed that people know that I dance because they’d asked me to show them some moves and I literally have nothing to pull out of my ass. I really wished my parents would have let me pursue street style dancing as a kid, but they thought that it was too unclassy and tomboy. Instead, they enrolled me into ballet thinking that it would make me more feminine and man were they wrong. I think I’d make a separate post on my dance story if you guys would be interested in reading because dance holds a special spot in my heart. Although, I won’t be able to join this year since my schedule is beyond packed, dance is something I don’t think I’d ever be able to give up. So for now, I think I’d take open classes here and there whenever my schedule allows.
A couple of weeks flew by and before I knew it and it was my 21st birthday! Shoutout to my man for planning such an amazing party for me! Honestly, I got way too lit that night so I barely remember the details. All I could recall was my five-minute gratitude speech turning into an hour long lecture and NO ONE stopped me. If you didn’t know, yes, I’m the emotional kind of drunk. When I get tipsy, I go around telling people how much I love them and that’s exactly what I did for my birthday. As embarrassed as I am, I don’t regret it because adulthood and university have really taught me to appreciate those who give you their time. Many people can say that they ‘love you’, care for you and have your back, but not a lot of them actually do. Every year, my birthday is a reminder to cherish the people around you, to be grateful and appreciative.
The gathering and celebration allowed me to realize how special it is to be able to hangout with everyone together. Seeing everyone there that night made me speechless and I couldn’t have ask for anything more significant. It was a hard realization though because while some people worked Mon-Fri, others worked during weekends. Meeting up all together seemed impossible, but that’s the reality when we all go out to start our lives in the real world.With everyone on such busy schedules, this summer was an eye-opener for me of what adult life friendships would actually be like. All this is, is just a reminder to all of us to appreciate the people around you and cherish every moment you spend together.
June also documented my boyfriend and I’s four year anniversary. That was an unbelievable milestone for the both of us. I could honestly go on and on about him, but I don’t think puking was your goal from reading this blog. So I’ll stop here. I’d just like to add that we had an unforgettable trip to Boston and til this day, I’m still craving the clam chowder from Quincy Market and the delicious seafood risotto we had at Mare Oyster Bar.
Now you’re probably reading all this and thinking what stress is this girl even talking about… mind you, all of this was happening while I was in full-time summer school. So you could probably guess that I was behind and stressed out all together at the same time. School was always on my mind despite all the fun I had. Thankfully, I grew quite close to a friend who became a huge academic and emotional support to me during this time and I could not be more grateful. All summer round I was taking four courses, two volunteer positions at hospitals, and another online volunteer position for a dietitian in BC. I was trying to juggle all this and still have a “summer” and I really burned out. I couldn’t count the amount of times that I broke down sobbing, feeling extremely stressed out about my future. Dietetic internship applications are coming up and there hasn’t been a day where I do not think about this. I’m so worried about not making it, worried about how I may not be able to support myself in the future, worried that I’d be a disappointment to my parents; just so worried about everything. People around me tell me to breathe, but it’s hard when you’re in such a competitive program. For now, I’m just telling myself to do my best and if I make it in, hooray! If I don’t, well…let’s not go there.
With a blink of an eye, I’m onto my final year of my program, that’s if I graduate of course. I can’t wait for what this academic year has to offer. So many new opportunities, life projects, and things to work on. Summer was great, but now it’s time to get back into routine! Comment down below and let me know how your summer was, I’d love to know! I’m also trying to work out a schedule for blog posts and am thinking about posting Mondays or Wednesdays for sure and then maybe throwing in an extra post sometime in the week here and there. Let me know what you guys think!
As always, thank you so much for checking in this week, your support means everything to me and I can’t wait to hear from you all. Stay tuned for next week’s post on the Sephora VIB Sale!